Sort these jokes by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) "Pack Your Bags!" Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A woman comes home one night and shouts up the stairs to her husband: "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" Her husband replies: "Should i pack for sun or... A Gift For His Sweetheart. Posted By Grannie (24 April, 2005) A young man wished to buy a pair of gloves for his sweetheart’s birthday, so he went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available and aske... At The Bar Posted By scorpiobabe (5 March, 2005) The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist." The second guy says, " I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., y... Barbie Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man goes into a toy shop to buy his little girl a barbie doll. He ask's the sales assistant how much barbie dolls are. The sales assistant says, "Barbie g... Cheap bar Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man went into a bar and said to the barman "Pint of best please", The barman said "That'll be 5 pence please" The man was amazed at the cheapness and aske... Devil In The Church Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Picture it: rural area, Sunday morning, church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit. The doors burst open, and a roiling black cloud rolls in with... Ex Girlfriend Posted By Mr Firth (26 March, 2004) I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn... Having Mom Over For Dinner Posted By Ghost (12 August, 2005) You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn... Magic Lamp Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) John finds a lamp, rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie says he will grant John three wishes with one condition: everything he wishes for, his wife will... Men And Mascara Posted By cats (27 November, 2003) Q. Why are men like mascara? A. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.... Peopling the Earth Posted By Richard (18 April, 2004) A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I'... Potential and Reality Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" Hi... Premature... Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In respons... Psychic kid Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) There was a boy who could see who was going to die next in his family. So one night he was praying and said "God bless mummy, God bless daddy, good bye gran... Shotgun Maid Posted By Funnywriting (3 March, 2005) A executive is on a buisness trip touring Britain and he decides to give his wife a call. The maid answers. "Hello I'd like to speak to my wife please." he... Sliding Under The Table Posted By cats (27 November, 2003) A man and woman are in a resturant when the waitress notices the man sliding down his chair and under the table. the woman is oblivious, but the waitress ... Slip of the Tongue Posted By daveymac84 (30 April, 2004) This guy walks onto a plane. He has a black eye. When the air hostess shows him to his seat, the man is astonished to find out that the man he is sitting ... Tattooed Privates Posted By Coen (27 May, 2005) An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where in the hell have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo". "A tattoo?" she f... Three Men In Heavan Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Three men die and arrive at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches the first man and asks: "How many times have you cheated on your wife?" The first man ... Women's Romance Posted By Richard (10 May, 2004) What is the quickest way to a woman's heart? ... Use a scalpel to make an incision in the chest, smash the ribs apart with a fire-axe, then you should be ... Written on my Forehead Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Theres a man and a woman in a house, the woman says to the man "Can you change the lightbulb?" To which the man replies "Have I got ELECTRICIAN written...