Sort these articles by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) American Military Intelligence? 12 October, 2003 This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Americ... Eight Idiots 7 June, 2004 Idiot # 1I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicologyat the poison control center. Today, this woman called in veryupset because she caug... Dear Crackhead 1 June, 2004 Dear Crackhead,Yes, you. You sick *****. On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend's building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off ... Newspaper & Tube Driver Quotes 28 August, 2003 Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North Westgas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of ... How to Beat a Speeding Ticket 27 June, 2004 A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange : Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't h... Actual Label Instructions 11 June, 2004 In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomedthrough stupidity, here are some actual label instructions onconsumer products:1. On a blanket... True Marketing Errors 15 November, 2003 Below are fine examples of what happens when marketing translations fail to reach a foreign country in an understandable way.Coors put its slogan, "Turn it ... The Physics of Hell 27 April, 2004 A true story. A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic?... Actual Military Warnings 14 October, 2003 Genuine warnings written on military equipment and publications: "Aim towards the Enemy." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulle... Funny Insurance Claim Forms 30 November, 2003 The following are genuine statements made by people on insurance claim forms....   "The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in fro... McDonalds Application Form 14 November, 2004 This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so hone... True Court-room Quotes 10 July, 2003 From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." They're things people actually said in court, word for word.... Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fi... Snappy Answers 25 June, 2004 Snappy Answer #1 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he... Real Comments Made on Live TV 8 October, 2003 Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there,... The Darwin Awards (A Complete Archive) 4 August, 2003 The Darwin Award Nominees The Darwin Awards are awarded to individuals who through acts of extreme stupidity kill themselves and thus remove their defect... Aircraft Maintenance Logs 30 November, 2003 Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack asense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenancecomplaints and problems, known as "squaw... Funny Store Signs 1 January, 2004 1.Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming." 2.Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people." 3.On a... Real Child Support Agency Forms 23 January, 2004 The following are taken from entries made on genuine Child Support Agency Forms: 01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered... More Dumb Attorneys 14 October, 2003 Genuine comments made by attorneys in court:---Was that the same nose you broke as a child? ---Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his... Funny Quotes about Death 5 July, 2004 1. "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." Woody Allen.  2. "The trouble with heart disease is that the fir... Darwin Awards 2004 16 October, 2004 Hard to believe, but another year has passed. Once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who ... Smart Cookies 24 December, 2003 The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE exams, and are some of the answers given by British students writing their fifth ... Real Science Test Answers 24 April, 2004 These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.  ... Real-Life Stupid People 12 July, 2003 I went to McDonalds. I looked at the menu and saw that you could have an order of 6,9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half-dozen nuggets. 'We don't... Family Fortunes: Funny Answers 19 October, 2003 The following are ACTUAL answers given bycontestants on The "FamilyFortunes" TV show. Name a scary animal A squirrel Name a food you don't have to chew ... Real Welfare Applications 15 December, 2003 For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a set level. The following quotations are taken from... Worlds Stupidest Criminals 11 November, 2003 Tennessee: A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank's video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. (That is, the videot... American Conspiracy? 1 March, 2004 Consider this ... and remember that it is all completely true. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in... Bumper Stickers 8 June, 2004 Horn broken. Watch for finger.Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.All generalizations are false.Cover me. I'm changing lanes.I brak... Funny Doctors Quotes 5 July, 2004 1."Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It's like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: 'Because of my m... Dear Deirdre 24 July, 2004 Believe it or notAUTHENTIC LETTER SENT TO DEAR DEIRDRE ADVICE COLUMN IN THE SUN(Apparently) From Gavin of London. I am a sailor in the merchant navy. My p... Famous Sex Quotes 24 December, 2003 "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."* Tom Clancy "You know 'that look" women get when they want... IT Helpdesk True Stories 4 July, 2003 A selection of true stories from IT Helpdesk StaffCustomer: 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.' Te... Church Bulletin Mistakes 20 September, 2003 The following are genuine mistakes from church bulletins: 20. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and... Unusual Interviews 9 January, 2004 Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospectiv... Funny News 3 February, 2004 From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: "Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled 'For The Sick,' is for monetary... Tail of the Chicken 17 April, 2004 The Federal Aviation Authority has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft an... The Greatest Essay Ever Written. Ever. 26 March, 2004 This essay was written by a supposedly able minded 14-year-old. It is a review of a video about lights they watched in an electronics class...can't see th... Attempts of the Dumb 11 November, 2003 Some true headlines.... SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken t... Is Bush stupid 30 September, 2004 Satire is a wonderful medium. It is a way to have fun with the famous people of the day. Every once in a while a clown comes into the spotlight that needs n... Worst Analogies Ever - From School Essays 10 January, 2004 He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes... Dumb Lawyers 7 August, 2003 Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trial... Real Life Football Quotes 1 February, 2004 "What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?"(STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live) "Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves... School Answering Machine 8 February, 2004 Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all ... Top Ten Real Email Addresses 16 June, 2004 Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up... Collection of Funny Headlines 21 February, 2004 1.  Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says2.  Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers3.  Safety Experts Say School Bus Passenger... Radio Competition 29 February, 2004 This story occurred on Auckland radio some time ago. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions,... Actual USA Laws 27 June, 2004 The following are genuine State Laws that are still technically in force in America: In Hartford, Connecticut: it is illegal to cross a str... Badly Transcribed Song Lyrics 15 May, 2004 The following are allegedly genuine incorrect transcriptions of song lyrics taken from various publications (on the web, in books, etc) It's a hard egg -- ... Newspaper Headlines from 1998 24 April, 2004 Include Your Children When Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers ... E.R .Funny Stories 28 October, 2003 Just a few stories from our nations Emergency Rooms to prove that fact isstranger than fiction. - A 28-year old male was brought into the ER after an attem... World History According to School Children 17 December, 2003 The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn... Real Advertisements 10 January, 2004 Dogs Lost: Small apricot poodle - Reward. Neutered, just like one of the family. Dog For Sale: Great Dames. Dog For Sale: Eats anything; es... BBC Delivery Blunder 20 June, 2004 It seems that the BBC are not immune to the occasional blunder, as this recent true story shows.  Someone in London recently sent an urgent video tap... A Woman's Place 24 April, 2004 The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life. Have dinner ready: ... Bob Mortimer on Virgin Radio 27 January, 2006 This was overheard on the radio this morning, featuring Radio Breakfast Host Christian O'Connell and well-known surreal comedian Bob Mortimer. Transcript b...