How do the various titans of the computing industry describe a lowly glass of milk?

Optimist
The glass is half full.

Pessimist
The glass is half empty

Futurist
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass

Pascal programmer
Well, what type of milk is it?

C Programmer
No thanks, I drink stright from the jug

Assembly programmer
No thanks; I drink stright from the cow

Basic Programmer
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding

MIS COBOL Programmer
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR

Fuzzy logic guy
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk

Prolog Programmer
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how

Non-Procedural Language Programmer
I drank it when nobody was looking

UI Designer
What's that crap in my glass?

Pentium User
I drank (Glass * .49999999...) but don't hold me to that

Windows User
Where's my straw?

Mac User
Where's my pump?

UNIX User
Nahhh... too easy

Multimedia author or Shareware game author
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for

Security Consultant
Where'd the rest of the milk go?

CIA
What makes you think that's milk???

NSA
We know what it really is

Copy Protection Crazies
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Free Software Foundation
The milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Bill Gates
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk^TM