Follow this guide if you want to confuse, scare or just
generally annoy anyone unlucky enough to be in the same computer room as you!
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh
my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look
suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you
can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5
minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different
screen than the one it's set up with.
Write a program that plays the Batman TV show theme song and play it at
the highest volume possible over & over again.
Work normally for a while.
Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl
underneath the desk.
Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret
Pentagon files.
Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say
"Just in case..." mysteriously.
Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by
hitting the keys with the straw.
Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disk drive. When it
doesn't work, get the supervisor.
When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the
smiling Apple face is.
Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue
working.
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
Assign a musical note to every key (i.e. the Delete key is A Flat, the B
key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an
entire paper this way.
Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old
ways are best.
Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them. Pull out a
pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!", then calmly sit
down and begin to type.
Wait until the monitor on duty leaves the room. Start typing worriedly at
your computer while frantically looking around the room. When the monitor on
duty comes back in, go up to him, shout "Thank God you're here!", then run
out.
