Military Rank

Jokes > Crime, the Military and Law

Military Rank

Posted By Funny.co.uk (08 February, 2003)

General: Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, more powerful than a steam engine, faster than a speeding bullet. Gives policy to GOD.

Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a shunting engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water(if the sea is calm). Talks with GOD.

Lt.-Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds. Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

Major: Barely clears a nissen hut. Loses tug-of-war with steam engine. Can fire a speeding bullet and swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by trains. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Doggy padles, talks to animals.

Lieutenant: Runs into tall buildings. Recognises trains 2 out of 3 times. Is not issued with ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a life jacket. Talks to walls.

2nd Lieutenant: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says "look at choo-choo." Is NEVER issued with a gun or ammunition. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself.

Sgt Major: Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks steam engines off the track. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. HE IS GOD!

Rate this joke

Send this joke to a friend

People Who Liked This Joke Also Liked These:

Two For One! (Rated PG)

Push (Rated U)

Triplets (Rated 15)

Things You Wish You Could Say At Work (Rated 12)

Joseph (Rated U)

Rate This Joke

This joke has been rated 10 times
with an average rating of 7 out of 10.