There was a man who had his arm shot off in a war. The doctors replaced it with an electric one, that perofrmend whatever instructions he game it, simply by talking to it.

One day he went into a pub toilet. He said "Undo Zip" so the arm undid his zip.

He said "Ready, aim, fire!" so he started to pee.

Then he saw a condom machine on the wall that was labelled as '£10 for 2!'

"RIP OFF!" he shouted.

His screams were heard throughout the bar...