THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed - Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo condition, blow dry 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe 12:45 Catch sight of boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 7kg 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit 15:00 Nap 16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist - card is from secret admirer 16:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body 17:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror 19:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers 22:00 Hot shower [alone] 22:50 Carried to bed...[Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen] 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM 6:00 Alarm 6:15 Blow job 6:30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section 7:00 Breakfast - rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench 7:30 Limo arrives 7:45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport 9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet 9:30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club [Blow job en-route] 9:45 Play front nine [2 under] 11:45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon 12:15 Blow job 12:30 Play back nine [4 under] 14:15 Limo back to airport 14:30 Fly to Monte Carlo 15:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew [all nude] 16:30 Land world record Marlin [1234lbs] on light tackle 17:00 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson 18:45 Shit, shower, shave 19:00 Watch news - Brad Pitt assassinated; marajuana and porn legalised 19:30 Dinner - Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon, big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice cream served on a pair of tits 21:00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch Match of the Day 21:30 Sex with three women [all with lesbian tendencies] 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale 23:30 Night cap blow job 23:45 In bed alone 23:50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room