You are so poor when I walked into your house and put out a cigarette you said," who turned off the heat"

You are so ugly that when you stuck your head outside of your window you were arrested for mooning

You are so ugly that baywatch would let you drown

You are so fat you fell and made the Grand Canyon

You are so fat when God said," Let there be light" you rolled over

You are so fat when you back up a beeping sound appears...beep beep

You are so ugly the NHL banned you for life

You are so fat you play pool with the planets

Anything else would you like to know...