Woman goes to the doctor with a bloated stomach and pains. Doctor doesn't know what's wrong so he takes a blood sample and tells her to come back in a week.

The woman comes back and says 'Oh doctor, I'm in such pain, what's wrong with me?' to which the doctor replies 'Well, let's put it this way, I hope you like changing nappies'.

So the woman says 'Oh, am I going to have a baby?' and the doctor says 'No, you've got bowel cancer'.