A man was having weird feelings up his arse. So he went to the doctor and asked him to look at it.

"Well..." said the doctor, "Theres a £5 note in there!" The doctor looked even further and pulled out two £20 notes too. He kept on pulling more and more money out of the mans bum until no penny was left.

"Well there was £1999.99 in here" said the doctor, astounded.

"Well, that explains it"  Said the man, "Everytime I've been to the bathroom for the past week I haven't been feeling too grand".