Three blokes die and go to heaven:

Saint Peter goes to the first fellow: "Greetings my Son! And how have you conducted your life?"

Tha first man says "I led a good life, I didn't drink - smoke - or mess around with lots of different women".

Saint Peter says "That's marvellous, my Son - here's a Roller to drive round Heaven in".

The bloke gets in his nice shiny white Rolls royce and drives off.

Saint Peter goes to the second fellow: "Greetings my Son! And how have you conducted your life?"

The second man says "I wasn't so bad, I didn't drink or smoke but I put it about a bit".

"Tut! Tut" Saint Peter says, "I'm afraid you'll have to make do with a Vauxhall Vectra to drive round Heaven in my boy".

"Bastard!" goes the man - gets in, slams the door and speeds off.

The third bloke is stood there chewing gum and smoking. "Oh Dear" says St Peter, "and what do you have to say for yourself?"

Tha third man spits and says "Sod all Pete mate. I drank, smoked and knocked off loads of birds. Send me to Hell if you don't like it!"

Saint Peter says "Well my Son, I don't think you've been that bad, here's a Mini to drive round Heaven in".

The man gets in but as he's about to set off he sees something that gives him hysterics. St Peter rushes over and asks "What is it my Son?"

Through uncontrollable laughter the bloke says: "I just saw a Nun on roller skates!"