One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local
church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep
during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be
able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific
times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church
the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his
plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to
Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded
off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the
congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again
winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the
tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to
bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what
did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked
her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and
I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the
congregation.