This bloke rings home from a phone box at the airport.
"Hello son, its your dad here, put your Mam on" he says as a little
boy's voice answers the phone.
"Oh, she's in bed with uncle dave, they
always go to bed of an afternoon I have to make myself scarce" was the reply.
"Well f**k me! Here I am slogging my guts out on them f**king rigs
sending her £500 quid a week and as soon as I'm gone she's in bed with my
brother. Here son you go tell her that your dad's coming up the street with his
bags and shit and see what she does, ive got a few quid in change I'll give
you".
"Alright, back in a mo" says the little boy.
A few minutes
later he comes back and says
"Eeh it were f**king funny that dad, I told
her what you said and you should have seen uncle Dave! He jumped out of bed and
out the window, but it slammed shut and caught his leg and he fell into your
cabbages and i hope your not planning on taking them to show this year cos he
squashed 'em. He got up and he ran out on to them railway lines and an intercity
125 hit 'im and spread him all over next doors garden"
"What did your
Mam say?" the bloke asked.
"Well she flew out the door, down the stairs,
I've never seen a hairy fanny before dad, in to the back yard and she slipped on
me skateboard and hit her head on a brick and landed in the swimming
pool......and shes face down.....shes not moving...I think I've killed her"
"Hang on....." says the man, "Swimming pool? is this Doncaster 706341?"
