A man went into a bar with a pet monkey. While he was having a drink, the monkey started exploring all over the place. "Don't worry about any damage he may do, " the man told the concerned bartender, "I'll pay for any damages."

"What I can't understand ," replied the barkeep, "is why your monkey keeps putting things in his ass before he swallows them."

"Oh, " the monkey's owner replied, "Ever since he swallowed a cue ball, he measures everything."