Sort these jokes by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) Laugh at the Pregnant Lady Posted By Richard (1 January, 2004) A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feelinghumiliated on account of her cond... 2 Paddy`s Posted By colapony (22 May, 2003) Two pregnant paddy`s knitting jumpers. One says "I hope mines a boy, I'm using blue wool." The other says "I hope mines a spastic, I've f*cked up... 4 Various Jokes Posted By DataRascal (8 June, 2003) A drunk staggers into a church and sits down in a confessional and says nothing. The priest coughs, still nothing; then the priest knocks on the wall 3 ti... A competition Posted By dilmee (2 July, 2003) There was the FBI, Scotland yard, and the L.A.P.D. They were having a competition: Who could find a rabbit that was released into the forest the fastest. Th... Aliens and Gas Pumps Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is t... Bad Couple Posted By leaguefan99 (22 March, 2005) An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard dee... Bob & Able Posted By Jenna (15 May, 2003) A man with all his arms & legs (Able) has a mate with no arms & legs (Bob). Bob doesn't get out much so Able decides to take him fishing on his bo... Boy Archer Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) A duke is hunting in a forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he comes upon a tree. Archery targets are painted all over it, and smack in the middle ... Boy on a Bike Posted By Richard (9 January, 2004) Why did the child fall off the bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him.  ... Boy playing with his train set Posted By iain1973 (27 December, 2006) A boy is playing with his train and his mum overhears him saying, "All you bastards getting off, for god's sake hurry up, all you bastards getting on, ... Captured Explorers Posted By Richard (28 May, 2004) A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the ch... Chocolate bar Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) Young Johnny was sitting on a park bench eating chocolate bars, a man sitting opposite watched him finish six of them off. The man said "Eating that many ch... Dark Train Posted By Ghost (15 May, 2003) In a train carriage there was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a spectacular looking blonde and an ugly looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the t... DIY Posted By i_am_damaro (27 May, 2003) A woman wanted a new wardrobe, so she went to a DIY store and bought a wardrobe for her bedroom. She took it home and built it. The trouble was that ... Don't try to be a woman Posted By gorganath (14 November, 2003) A man was travelling on a jumbo jet to Paris, when suddenly he felt a desperate urge to go and relieve himself. Unfortunately, there was a massive queue o... Drink yourself rich Posted By Richard (15 October, 2003) If you had bought £1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth £49.00. With Enron, you would have £16.50 of the original £1,000.00. Wi... Drummer Joke Posted By JinMakkto (7 April, 2005) A organisation of scientists are conducting a survey on what jobs people do in relation to what their IQ is. After a few years with the survey in progress,... E-mail Posted By cats (12 September, 2003) A man goes on holiday to Lanzarote. His wife's on a business trip, but is planning to join him the next day. When he gets to the hotel, he decides to send ... Genie and the Man Posted By jabberwocky (6 November, 2003) A man is walking down a street. Suddenly he spots a rusty old lamp. He picks it up and gives it a wipe. A genie appears out the lamp. The genie goes "than... Giant Posted By will72 (18 March, 2003) Did you hear about the Giant who destroyed three countries? He picked up TURKEY dipped it in GREECE and fried it in JAPAN.... Girl up a flagpole Posted By kazkaz (4 November, 2003) There was a young girl who loved to wear dresses everyday to school. One day a boy asked her to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies. She climbed th... Homeless Posted By Brian.w2 (2 March, 2004) A man was walking down the street when he was accostedby a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homelessman who asked him for a couple of dollars for din... In The Lift Posted By checkersx (16 May, 2003) A normal bloke, Santa Clause and a very intelligent woman are in a lift where there is a £20 note on the floor. Who picks the £20 note up and why?   ... Lemonade Posted By mantle (6 June, 2003) What do you call a bottle of lemonade at a pub? "Misplaced."... Misconceptions Posted By ollie12 (14 October, 2003) A dad was driving his son home from school one day and a policeman starts following them,"oh,Shi... Modern Technology Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) These three business men have just arrived back from a trip to Hong Kong,having purchased some very modern technology. Anyway, they decide to go for a game ... Old Lady's Wishes Posted By Richard (22 May, 2004) An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she w... Plane Game Posted By nightvixen (15 February, 2004) A buisness man is getting onto a plane for a very long flight. He is shown to his seat which happens to be next to a blonde woman. He turns to her and says ... Pulled Over Posted By Zorga (14 December, 2006) A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."  The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on ... Questions Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) Why is it when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still full?? Why is abbreviated such a long word? Why is there only one monopolies commision? Is the L... Raining in Russia Posted By Richard (20 July, 2003) A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. 'I think it's raining', he said to his wife. 'No, ... Scouser in a shell suit Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) What do you call a scouser in a shell suit?The Groom!... Senior Moment Posted By Richard (19 January, 2004) An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, andafter eating, the wives left the table and went into thekitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were... Social workers Posted By Funny.co.uk (31 July, 2003) Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb ? A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "coping with darkness".... Spoon Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) A man was in a restaurant and he dropped his spoon. The waiter at his table took another spoon out of his pocket and gave it to the man. The man said, "Than... Square Testicles Posted By lunatic (9 August, 2003) An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the ... Taxi Passenger Posted By Richard (20 February, 2004) A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.  The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a ... The Blondes Fight Back Posted By i_am_damaro (7 June, 2003) What's brown, covered in blood and lies in an alley? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.... The Empty House Posted By Richard (24 August, 2003) A Physicist, a Mathmatician and a Biologist are sitting in a café, looking out the window at a deralict house across the street.  After a few minutes ... The Frog Loan Posted By scorpiobabe (27 February, 2005) A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a$30,000 loa... The Green Suit Posted By Richard (10 July, 2004)  A man who isn't qualified keeps pestering this tailor about giving him a job selling suits. Finally, the owner tells him if he can sell this one green... The Navigator Posted By Richard (30 July, 2003) The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know wha... The Noise Posted By Henryvo (5 July, 2005) NOTE: This is a long joke, please read it. DO NOT read the last part first. It WILL spoil the joke. Steve, was driving down the road after going to a party... The Scottish Student Posted By Richard (24 April, 2004) A student at an English university, by name of Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye, who was living in the hall of residence in his first year there. Afte... The Son Who Did Good Posted By i am scarface (29 March, 2004) One day four guys went to go play golf. One man went to get tickets so they could get in the park, the other three started talking about their sons. ... The Stove Posted By Richard (10 July, 2004)   Last year authorities in Montana discovered that a hermit had been living in an old Forest Service cabin, and they were concerned about his well bein... Three Men in a Predicament Posted By froggyjr257 (19 April, 2004) Three men in a pub come to an agreement that when they get home they have to do exactly what thier wives tell them. They arrange to meet the next week.&nb... Twins Posted By cats (25 November, 2003) A young 17 year old falls pregnant. She tells her parents that she wants to keep the baby but they insist that she give it up for adoption. She then finds ... Two Atoms Posted By Richard (19 November, 2003) Two atoms are walking down the street.The first one says, "Oh no, I just lost an electron!"The second one says, "Are you sure?"and the first one replies, ... Unplug Your Equipment Posted By Richard (22 May, 2004) For safety reasons, it is very important that you unplug all your electrical equipment every night before you go to bed.  However, there are two exce... Walked into a Bar Posted By Richard (19 November, 2003) A nun, a gorilla, and Santa Claus walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"... What's Bald...? Posted By Richard (17 May, 2004) What's bald, has big clacking teeth, and wobbles? A zombie baby wearing the dentures of an elderly woman whose brains it just ate.... Whats Black and White... Posted By Mr Firth (23 December, 2003) Whats black and white and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a javelin through her head.... Womens Lib Posted By Richard (8 January, 2004) Three women at a womens lib meeting, the first stands up; I told my husband that I am not going to pick up after him anymore and he is not getting any sex ... WOOT WOOT Posted By PinkFuzzyBunny (17 May, 2003)  There are two indians and a stupid white country man walking throught the woods. They come to this cave and one of the indians goes "WOOT WOOT," and... You Know It's A Bad Day When... Posted By Funny.co.uk (3 February, 2003) 17 ways you can tell it's going to be a rotten day: 1. You wake face down on the footpath. 2. You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better. 3. You call...