Sort these jokes by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) A coach full of nuns Posted By graffitiwarrior (19 March, 2005) A coach full of nuns go over a cliff and they all die. They find themselves in a queue outside the Pearly Gates. St Peter suddenly appears and approaches ... A guy goes into confession Posted By knuckles shine (10 May, 2005) A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair a... A priest and his bike Posted By knuckles shine (9 May, 2005) A priest goes into a bar, which is empty, except for him and the barman. He orders a beer then says, "D'you know who stole my bike?" "No," answers the barm... Amishman in New York Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) An amish family went to New York and visited all the massive multistorey department stores. They had never left their home before and were spellbound by wha... Arthritis Posted By Ghost (12 August, 2005) A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on the London Underground next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with re... Bread Posted By patrosh (30 March, 2003) What do you call a holy peice of bread?  Jesus crust... Buddah Posted By ~giggles~ (12 May, 2003) There were three guys in an airplane and then all of a sudden the pilot was poisoned, and in the plane there were no parachutes. So the three guys we... Buddhist monk Posted By makhulu (7 March, 2005) A Buddhist monk goes into a cocktail bar, walks over to the Tom Cruise lookalike with the cocktail shaker and says, "Make me one with everything".... Camera Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A visitor to the Vatican needs to relieve himself. Imagine his surprise when in the restrooms he sees the Pope sitting on a toilet masterbating. As this was... Catholic Priest On A Cruise Posted By sweetyaerogirl (16 December, 2003) A Minister, a Rabbi and a Catholic Priest were all on a cruise. All of the sudden, the boat hit some rocks and began to sink.  The Minister yelled, "... Clip Clop Posted By boab (10 March, 2004) What goes clip,clop,clip,clop,bang, bang,clip,clop? An Amish drive by shooting.... Confession Posted By frankie2k3 (29 May, 2003) There's a new priest in town, doesn't really know what he is doing, the high priest says to him, "You work on confessions and I will do the masses." "Okay... Confused Devil Worshipper Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Did you hear about the Dyslexic Devil Worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa!... God And Noah II Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) One day God calls down to Noah and says "Noah me old china, I wants you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything y... Good monk Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man sick of the outside world joins a temple in Tibet. The only problem being is the fact that he can only say 2 words every five years. The first five ye... Heavenly transport Posted By Gaffzilla (6 November, 2003) Three blokes die and go to heaven: Saint Peter goes to the first fellow: "Greetings my Son! And how have you conducted your life?" Tha first man says "I l... How Did You Die? Posted By i_am_damaro (27 May, 2003) Three men were standing at the Pearly Gates. It had been a particularly busy day so Peter told the first one, "We're just about fullup at the moment so we'r... Jesus And Moses Posted By Birdynumnum (28 April, 2005) Jesus and Moses are fishing out on Moses's big boat.  While chilling with a beer, Moses comments "You know what mate, it has been many many centuries ... Jesus at the pearly gates Posted By Kex (5 October, 2005) One day at the pearly gates, Jesus was in charge of accepting people into heaven. Time passed and nothing interesting happened until it was an old mans tu... Jesus in the Manger Posted By Richard (20 July, 2003) The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One ofthe wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he ... Jesus On The Cross Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A huge crowd had gathered as Jesus was nailed to the cross. As Jesus surveyed the crowd he saw St. Peter at the back. He strained to call to him, "Peter, Pe... Jesus the Programmer Posted By Richard (8 February, 2004) Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who in the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with Go... Mr. Jones in Church Posted By Richard (17 August, 2003) One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, myhusband keeps falling asleep during ... Poke the Sleeper Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man who went to church with his wife, always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin... Religious Road Signs Posted By Simon (13 October, 2003) A priest and a pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The End is Near! Turn yourself around now... Retirement Present Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) The Jewish man Moses had dedicated his life to circumcising young boys But Moses was getting on a bit & decided to retire, so he took his huge sackful o... Satan's Three Rooms Posted By Richard (1 November, 2003) This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in. S... Sex - Work or Play? Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The pr... Sip The Vodka Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am w... Tennis Posted By Aled (22 March, 2005) Q. Why did Joseph prefer tennis to leading the Jews? A. Because he adored serving in Pharaoh's court.... The Christian Bear Posted By Shadowcat (19 December, 2003) One day a priest decided to go for a walk in the woods. Not long after he set out though, a huge grizzly bear started to chase him. He ran and ran as fast a... The Pope and the Typo Posted By Richard (3 February, 2004) The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad... The Priest and the Drunk Posted By Mr Firth (26 December, 2003) A drunk was staggering back from the  pub one night when he came across a batism taking place in the river. He wanted a closer look and hazily w... The Religious Man Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man sat listening to flood warnings on his radio on a stormy night. He was a religious man so he did not worry. The storms came, the rains came. the rains... There were two nuns.. Posted By Zorga (5 December, 2006) One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),  and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).  It was getting dark and they were still... Three Woman go to Heaven Posted By ~Me-chan~ (6 February, 2004) Three woman die and go to heaven. God says to the first woman "There is only one rule of heaven: you can't step on a duck." So the girl thinks 'okay, simple... Triple Trouble Posted By pomki (30 November, 2006) Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? He lay awake all night wondering if there really is a DOG!... Two Nuns Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Two nuns go out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister mathematical (S.M.), the other is known as Sister Logical (S.L.). It is getti... Two Statues Posted By Richard (1 November, 2003) For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such... Wanna Be Nuns Posted By slimjadi (18 May, 2003) Three women walk into a church wanting to become nuns. The first woman walks up to the priests and says that she wants to become a nun. The priest lo... Xmas Trees and Priests Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) What do a Christmas tree and a catholic priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration....