Sort these jokes by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) 13! 13! 13! Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) a man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting."thirteen thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from the mental hospital wards. The mans... 3 men in a pub Posted By bAbY (21 May, 2003) 3 men were in a pub the 1st man said "i found a packet of fags in my daughters room the other day, i didnt know she smoked" the 2nd man says "i found a pair... 3 Women's Deaths Posted By Dannza (15 April, 2004) Three women are condemned to death. A brunette, a redhead and a blonde. They're all about to be shot. "Any last words?" the captain of the firing squa... Air plane Posted By Lioness_Portia (2 January, 2006) Three men were taking a trip on a plane.  When they get on the pilot tells the passengers not to throw anything out of the windows.  The plane lif... Black & Blue Posted By mae32292 (9 April, 2005) Q: Why are blond's belly-buttons black and blue? A: Blond guys are stupid too.... Blind man Posted By danhawk (20 March, 2003) There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door "Who is it?" "Blind man" is the reply "OK, come on in then" "Nice boobs, where do yo... Blond TV Posted By billieguerin (2 June, 2003) A blond walks into a shop a says to the shop keeper "can i buy that TV please?" The shop keeper says ''no i don't serve blonds." So she goes home and d... Blonde and the River Posted By Richard (8 January, 2004) Once there was this blonde who was walking through the forest when she came upon a big river. She looked up and down the bank , but couldnt see a way acro... Blonde Dyes Her Hair Brown Posted By ringer9 (14 March, 2004) Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blondejokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few dayslater, as she was driving around the co... Blonde in a hair salon Posted By smellybelly6000 (29 March, 2004) There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him "Make sure not to knock the headph... Blonde in a Snowstorm Posted By smellybelly6000 (29 March, 2004) A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck i... Blonde Swimming Race Posted By Richard (4 September, 2003) There is a blonde, brunette, and a red head. They all have to swim breast-stroke across the English Channel. They all start at the same time, the brunette... Blondes Posted By haha_so_funny (29 March, 2004) Did you hear about the blonde who wanted to do somthing exciting and get a sun tan at the same time?  She decided to go skydiving in nothing but a... Blondes and Chickens Posted By snoodstago (10 April, 2004) Two blondes had just came back from shopping. The first blond asked: "What did you buy?" Second blond replyed: "Chickens" The first blond says: "If I ... Blondes death Posted By Dannza (15 April, 2004) A blonde woman was tired of people calling her names and teasing her because of the colour of her hair, so she decided to kill herself. She found some rope ... Bob's Bathtub Posted By JinMakkto (6 July, 2004) One day Bob goes to the hardware shop and buys a bathtub. A couple of days later he goes back to the shop and complains that whenever h... Broke Blonde Posted By punkrockfan_518 (6 October, 2005) A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery.... Buying the Bull Posted By Raci (17 May, 2004) Two sisters inherit a thousand pounds from their late uncle. One is blonde, and the older one is brunette. They decide to buy a bull, so the brunette says ... Clocking the Car Posted By Richard (14 October, 2003) Jenny was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 150,000 miles on the clock. One day, she told her pro... Cowboys, Indians and Idiots Posted By pjy316 (19 March, 2004) ... Currency Exchange Posted By Richard (4 July, 2003) A Japanese businessman walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2,000 yen and walked out with $76. The following week, he walked in with 2,00... Dead Hunter Posted By Richard (12 August, 2003) A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.  He doesn't seem to be breathing.  His eyes are rolled back in hi... Desert Survival Posted By nhojboy (16 October, 2005) An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman become lost in the desert. Soon enough, they are kidnapped by desert bandits. They are robbed of any... drunk man Posted By marrick (22 June, 2003) There was a drunk man knocking on a lampost. I went up to him and I said "I dont think there is anybody in". The drunk man said "Well the upstairs lights on... Dubya Posted By Jatman (4 April, 2006) During his daily briefing on Monday morning, Donald Rumsfeld informed the president, "Three brazilian soldiers were killed over the weekend."  ... Dyslexic Raver Posted By Tomaski (6 August, 2003) Did you hear about that dyslexic raver? He took F.... Elavator Posted By simi (28 September, 2003) A foreign man and his young son were walking in the local mall one day, when they spotted two sliding doors. With amazement they walked up to the doors. W... Englishman, Frenchman, New Yorker Posted By Ghost (15 May, 2003) A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the ch... French Sun-Walk Posted By Richard (17 April, 2004) French President Jaques Chirac, tired of all of the anti-french jokes, since the start of the invasion of Iraq, has announced with great national pride that... Gardner Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) The inspector arrives at a mental home to check all is well. After parking his car he walkes to the main entrance, not failing to notice the gardener workin... Gash on the Forehead Posted By Richard (8 January, 2004) Person1: That's an awful gash you've got on your forehead! How did you get it? Person2: I bit myself. Person1: How the hell did you manage to bite yoursel... Give her another chance! Posted By bigbum (2 August, 2006) Every blonde in the world gathered in Wales for a 'Blonde fair' to show the world that all blondes aren't dumb.To prove they are clever, one ... Golf Tee Posted By And U R (20 July, 2004) Tiger Woods was driving down a desert road in his Ferrari F60 when he pulled into a petrol station. Tiger got out of his car grabbed the pump and beg... How to Kill a Blonde Posted By funny bloke374 (22 May, 2004) Q. How do you kill a blonde? A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!... How to Win Posted By Zeppo (14 November, 2003) A chap who was out for a walk spotted the farmer stood in the middle of a pasture staring into space. "Are you O.K.?" he asked the farmer. "Certainly " r... Idiot In The Desert Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) An idiot was stranded in the desert. As he walking along he found a lamp. The idiot rubbed the lamp and to his surprise, a Genie came out. The Genie said ... Insured Cigars Posted By Subach (4 August, 2003) True Story: A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month... Kerry Man Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Q. what do you call a kerry man under a wheelbarrow? A. A mechanic... Little Boy Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A man from a company selling things from door to door knocks on the first house of Main Street. A little boy answers the door 'Hello' says the little boy 'H... Make a Wish Posted By xc_chick05 (30 November, 2003) A man stumbles across and ancient looking oil lamp.  Upon rubbing it, a magical genie appeared.  You all know how the story goes.  Blah-blah-... Mental Hospital Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) A sane man walks into a mental hospital and see's a man sawing wood. He asks him "What Are you doing" "Making sawdust" replies the other man. "Well what's h... Moth man at the Doctors Posted By Grimsdale (26 July, 2003) A man goes to the doctors, flapping his arms and jumping up and down. He says "Doctor, I think I'm a moth!" The doctor replys "I think... Navajo Hitchhiker Posted By Richard (25 June, 2004) A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and ... Neighbour Joke Posted By ksoiehawo (23 March, 2005) A man is watching a football game, and his wife is in the shower. The doorbell rings, the man, who is too into the game, tells his wife to go answer the d... Never take on a bet drunk Posted By xXeVaNeScEnCeXx (21 November, 2004) A man walks into a bar and notices a huge jar full of money hanging above the cash register. The man asks the bartender, " Whats with all the money?" The ... Old Age Problems Posted By Simon (11 October, 2003) Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the ... Old Lady Suicide Posted By FunnyBunny4 (30 April, 2004) An old women dosen't want to live so she decides to commit suicide. She goes to her doctor and asks him what the best way to commit suicide is. He says well... Old Lady's Cigarette Posted By tankman (25 February, 2004) Two old ladies standing at a bus stop. The first old lady lights up a Silk-Cut cigarette. A few minutes later it starts to rain . The lady reache... Paddy And Mick Posted By Funny.co.uk (5 February, 2003) Paddy & MIck were walking along one day, when they came across a deserted car. They jumped in, and started checking if everything worked. Paddy beeped t... Puff Posted By ~giggles~ (6 May, 2003) There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde standing in front of the trust mirror.  They had to stand in front of it and tell the truth of what they... Rose...? Posted By greatfungi (22 March, 2005) An elderly couple is visiting another couples' house for dinner. After dinner, the women retire to the kitchen to prepare the dessert. The men stay at the ... Scottish Driver Posted By Richard (19 April, 2004) An Englishman and a Scotsman are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp b... Scrolling Idiot Posted By woolston wombats (4 November, 2003) How do you keep an idiot amused for hours? SCROLL DOWN!                         &nbs... Sherlock Holmes goes Camping Posted By Richard (12 August, 2003) Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping.  They pitch their tent under the starts and go to sleep.  Sometime in the middle of the night, H... Smart Blonde Posted By ILuvMtDew (26 October, 2003) Two bored casino attendents were standing at a craps table waiting for a gambler.  A blonde woman walks up, places her bid, and says:  I ho... Sunbathing - A True Story Posted By ringer9 (16 June, 2004) A rather well-proportioned secretary, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day but,... The Blondes and the Wall Posted By Anji72 (23 October, 2003) Two blonde's walking in the desert find a glass wall - one says to the other "Shall we climb over and see what's on the other side."... The CIA's Blonde Posted By georgec_b (28 September, 2003) The CIA send their best women to kill Osama Bin Laden.  Sadly she got her Anthrax mixed up with her Tampax and poisoned the wrong c*nt!... The Ham Sandwich Man Posted By Richard (13 October, 2003) One lunch time a man walked into a pub and said to the barman "Pint of beer and a ham sandwich please."So the barman gave him his order. He then drank the... The Hole Shebang Posted By punkrockfan_518 (9 August, 2005) Two guys are working for the city. One digs holes, the other fills them up. A man watching them can’t understand what they’re doing. Finally, he says,” I ... The Logical Scientist Posted By bogue (16 January, 2004) Two blokes are sitting at a bar. While they're drinking, another man walks in and goes to the toilet. One of the blokes says to the other 'I haven't ... The magic slide Posted By leah (25 July, 2003) There were three kids playing in a park, and they went on a magic slide. The first one, upon sliding down the slide, said "Lemonade!", and he lan... The River Only a Woman Could Conquer! Posted By Lioness_Portia (2 January, 2006) There were three men hiking through a forest when they came upon a raging river.  In order to cross the river the first man prayed to God, "God will ... The Slacker Posted By Richard (30 July, 2003) A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, ... Three Men In a Sack Posted By LastResort (5 October, 2005) The Year Is 1915, The An English Man, An Irish Man, And a Scots Man are all in a German Prison. Finally they find a chance to escape. As they attempt to es... Tickle Me Elmo Posted By no1_pepsi_girl (28 May, 2003) A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The ... Train Tickets Posted By Richard (19 April, 2004) Three scots and three englishmen are traveling by train to a football match. At the station, the three englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three sc... Two Strangers on a Plane Posted By Richard (31 August, 2003) Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when  the first guy turned to the second and said, "Let's talk.  I've heard that fligh... What is Intelligence Posted By Richard (27 October, 2003) Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in t... What to do Posted By SnowOwl (21 May, 2003) What do you do when a pin comes flying in your direction?  Run away because a blonde has a grenade.... Why aren't those army cadets armed with lawn mowers? Posted By Batty (15 June, 2003) Three men wanted to join the army, so they all went to the army major and asked if they could join the ranks. The army major said "If you go back and blow u... Wish Cave Posted By bear immortal (22 March, 2005) An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman were on a hike and they found a cave. There was a sign outside the cave that said  'Anyone who enters this cave ... Wrong Choice Posted By Ghost (15 May, 2003) During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boa...