Sort these jokes by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) Bad Husband Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) There was once this happily married old couple, well, they were happy apart from one thing, the husband's bad habbit of breaking wind every morning. On thei... Better than lubricant Posted By Buffalowing (19 September, 2003) One day Jimmy, Billy, and Sally, were in the desert late at night and their car broke down. Sally and Billy were the best friends out of all three, and Ji... Blood Posted By scorpiobabe (27 February, 2005) A man gives blood to his girlfriend and saves her life. After a while they break up and he asks for the blood back. She throws a used tampon at him and scr... Carrot Posted By PinkFuzzyBunny (16 May, 2003) One day there was three people lost in the forest for 2 weeks. Their names were Bob, Jill and James. During this time they ran out of food and search all ... Constipated Mathmatican Posted By skabarbro (16 January, 2004) Q: What does a mathmatican do when he's constapated? A: He works it out with paper and a pencil.... Cream biscuit Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) A lady and her son were walking down the street one day, and there was a used condom in the gutter. "Whats that mummy?" asked the boy. "Um, thats a cream bu... Good Head Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) Two blokes were talking in a pub, and the first one says "On my way home from the pub last night I took a short cut over the railway track, and there was th... Grandma Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) How do you make your grandma's toes curl? F*** her with her tights on... Leper Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) What did the Leper say to the Prostitute ? You can keep the tip ........ Leper In A Bar Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) A man goes into a bar and asks for shots of drinks, he has a shot of tequila then vomits. He has another then vomits and he does this several times. A leper... Little Ol' Lady Posted By rhcp (1 May, 2004) There's a little old lady in a care home. One the second floor (where everyone sleeps) the corridor is around the edge and the rooms are in the middle. ... Nasty Nut Eater Posted By Mr Firth (21 December, 2003) Whats green and eats nuts? Herpes!... Samples Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." The... Smear Test Posted By krystell (20 January, 2004) (This joke is not for the easily offended)Q. Why do old women NOT have smear tests?   A. Have you ever tried opening a cheese toastie?... The Flaming Gerbil Legend Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the Gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe ... The Pub Posted By Richard (25 June, 2004) A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she ... Three Nurses and a Dead Doctor Posted By assman (16 August, 2003) The Doctor is lying dead in the morgue. Three nurses go down with another unlucky victim. They see the doctor lying there and think that they would like to... Train Robbery Posted By danny (30 September, 2003) One day these two guys on a train going to Preswick.  One of the guys needs a dump but there are no toilets on the train so his friend says "Hang y... Tramps Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) A publican is shutting for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the tooth-pick and ... Women Trouble Posted By Funny.co.uk (7 February, 2003) One day there were 3 blokes in the bar and they were all depressed. The bar man goes over to them and says "What's the matter? women trouble?" They all go "...