If you’re cynical like me then you may have a bad feeling about another classic comedy character being revitalised by the Hollywood-corporate-can’t-think-of-an-original-idea-so-we’ll-desecrate-and-cash-in-on-anything-we-want machine.

The latest postmodern bastardisation will probably have Peter Sellers spinning in his grave as (not learning from every one else’s mistakes) Inspector Clouseau is due to be hitting the big screen again in 2005 reincarnated by the incredible hit-or-miss talents of Steve Martin.

In a desperate attempt to cover up the unoriginality of the project, Martin has penned a prequel to the original film; as the story stands, Clouseau must recover the stolen Pink Panther diamond and uncover the murder of a famous football coach.

Martin will be the fourth actor to portray the bumbling detective but obviously has not heeded the failures of the others. Inspector Clouseau, Trail Of The Pink Panther, Curse Of The Pink Panther, and Son Of The Pink Panther have all been critically heralded as rubbish. And let’s not forget Martin’s sterling efforts of late; Cheaper By The Dozen (which did well States side but largely ignored over here), Looney Tunes: Back In Action (a shameless Dr. Evil rip-off), Bringing Down The House (which actually got reasonable write-ups), and Sgt Bilko (*cough, cough*).

It is twenty years since The Pink Panther’s release and Martin over-optimistically stated that he loved the movies and that, “the thought of having other people have those 20-year movie memories is what I do it for.”

Father Of The Bride 2 anyone?

Anyway, if the elements weren’t portentous enough; Cheaper By The Dozen director, Shawn Levy, is also on board. Other cast members include Jean Reno, Beyonce (as a singer) and Kevin Kline as Inspector Dreyfus.

I wonder if they can get Jackie Chan on board to play Cato. I might go see it then.