Cybersex - What you Don't See

Posted in Other Funny on November, 29 2003 9:53 PM

Below is a transcript from a possibly true but definately funny 'Cybersex' conversation in a chat room.....

----

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black
leather mini skirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very
buffed. I workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What
do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a
pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also
wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on
it and it smells kind of funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music
playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up
into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its way down to
your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are
trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it
softly off.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk
slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now,
rubbing and pulling.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in
your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra,
my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and
harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's
stuck. Do you have scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind
my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air
caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and
inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel
your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
breasts They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm
nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit
and phlegm.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the
remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and
throwing it in the corner of the room.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing
your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all
over, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking
for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the
cabinet and now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark,
I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed
against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses
on the nightstand.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the
bathroom

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around
for the toilet and lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush
handle.......uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm
walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,
woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice.
Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait
another second. Slide it in! Screw me!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous
look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener
all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem
is.

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on
my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching
across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture
frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles
fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it
with
a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!


USER 'SWEETHEART' HAS LOGGED OFF

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