James Sherwood Comes To London

Posted in Stand Up on January, 08 2007 12:16 PM

After a sell-out run at the Edinburgh Fringe that met with much critical acclaim comedian James Sherwood is bringing "I Know What You Did Last Sunday" this week.

The Scotsman said of the show, which deals with Sherwood's experience of religion in Britain, "Very funny, brilliantly conceived. Sherwood has phenomenal stage presence. He is an impressive, intelligent, articulate performer."

What more could you ask for?  So get yourself along to Camden Tube tomorrow or Wednesday night (that's the 9th or 10th of January) and make your way to the Etcetera Theatre, Oxford Arms, 256 Camden High Street, where you'll be asked to part with a measly £6 a head for a superb evening's entertainment.

The more cautious among you can book your tickets in advance by calling the Etcetera box office on 020 7482 4857 or clicking over to ticketweb via the link below:

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4 Presidents

Posted in Political on January, 06 2007 10:12 PM

Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado, and off they whirl to the land of OZ.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and find the Great Wizard .

"What brings the four of you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."

"No Problem," says the Wizard. "Who's next?"

Richard Nixon steps forward: "Well, I think I need a heart."

"Done," says the Wizard. "Who comes nextbefore the Great and Powerful Oz?"

Up steps Bush: "The American people say that I need a brain."

"No problem," says the Wizard. "Consider it done."

Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton just stands there, looking around but doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "Well, what do youwant?"

"Is Dorothy here?"

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Boy playing with his train set

Posted in Miscellaneous on December, 28 2006 11:27 AM

A boy is playing with his train and his mum overhears him saying, "All you bastards getting off, for god's sake hurry up, all you bastards getting on, for christ's sake hurry up and sit down".

At hearing this, his mum sends him to bed for two hours to learn how to play nicely.

When he carries on playing after the two hours his mum listens in again and hears him say, "Those disembarking have a nice day and mind the step, those boarding enjoy your journey, and those upset at the two hour delay, blame the fat bitch in the kitchen."

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Can you see Jesus

Posted in Funny Pictures on December, 16 2006 5:05 AM

The image of Jesus appears in the form of, er, I don't remember that in the Bible
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Film Review: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

Posted in Reviews on December, 14 2006 7:17 PM

Starring: Tim Allen, Martin Short, Alan Arkin
Cert: U
Released: 24th November 2006

Jack Frost (Short) is fed up playing second fiddle to Santa (Allen) during the winter period so devises a scheme to swap places. It is possible for Scott (Santa (Allen)) to never have been Santa if he wishes it so while holding his special snow globe.

In the meantime Santa has invited his ex-wife, her husband and child to the North Pole to celebrate Christmas with him and his heavily pregnant wife. Also coming are her parents, still in the dark about their son-in-law's alter ego and slightly put out that their daughter has been removed from their lives.

Amidst family bickering and sabotage, Jack's plan is carried out and he goes back in time to that fateful Christmas Eve outside Scott's house and dons the red coat.

The past twelve years change and now Scott has to try to get his old life back again.

Tim Allen has sold his soul to Disney sycophancy and humour-light, inoffensive, mediocre films. There's not much to be said about The Santa Clause 3 apart from it is everything you would expect it to be. That's not necessarily a bad or a good thing.

Aside from the presence of Alan Arkin it seems to be cast of men who used to be quite funny a long time ago. Allen, Short and Judge Reinhold had, at one time, fairly credible careers. Add to them a plethora of chummy cameos and I feel like an uncomfortable guest at a family reunion. The end credits bolster this emotion as I watch the cast have a very amusing time in the outtakes which just aren't that funny.

Kids up to a certain age should enjoy it. After all, it's about Santa and has a fair degree of slapstick in it. However, the storyline is a bit convoluted for the young 'uns to comprehend. You try explaining time travel to a 6-year-old.

As for the story itself, the main point of Jack becoming Santa is almost an aside making it unworthy of the effort they went to achieve it.

My other gripe is a poor production value. When Jack turns the North Pole into a theme park is one of the crappiest I have ever seen and would have had my kids crying in disappointment. Heck, my daughter's school's assembly hall is better decked out at Christmas time than that place. I think it's a sad day when Disney starts getting cheap - moneywise, that is, rather than qualitative.

Not so much the coal in the bottom of your stocking but certainly no PSP. More like a satsuma, it's okay but you wouldn't miss it if it hadn't been there.

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Pulled Over

Posted in Miscellaneous on December, 14 2006 6:34 PM

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." 

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." 

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." 

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" 

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." 

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" 

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

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Peter Boyle: 1935 - 2006

Posted in Film on December, 13 2006 9:22 PM

Peter Boyle has lost his battle against bone marrow cancer and heart disease and died in a New York hospital yesterday (11th December) aged 71.

Boyle was a diverse and talented actor who was able to successfully span his career across all genres of film and television. Some of his most memorable comedy film roles include The Monster in Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein (1974), joining an eclectic comedic cast in Python-lite Yellowbeard (1983), cast as a man who believed he was Jesus in The Dream Team (1989) and as Sandra Bullock's eccentric potential father-in-law in While you were Sleeping (1995). Boyle can be currently seen (sort of) as Father Time in Tim Allen's The Santa Clause 3 .

Most notable must be his portrayal of Ray Barone's father, Frank, in 201 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond .


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Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Pamela Anderson
Cert: 15
Released 2nd November

Kazakhstan's number one television presenter, Borat (Baron Cohen), is on a mission to travel to America in an attempt to discover what aspects of their lifestyle it is that makes their country so great and, hopefully, bring them back to Kazakhstan.

He takes his producer, Azamat, along for company and to keep an eye on the budget. Things are going great in New York until Borat discovers Baywatch and Pamela Anderson. He decrees there and then to travel to California to make her his wife.

He convinces Azamat that is where they will find real America and make the long road trip in an ice-cream van, stopping to experience snippets of Americana along the way.

Yeah. I'm a bit late jumping on this band wagon but since it's still doing really well at the cinemas I thought I'd drop in my penneth worth.

Singularly the best 'laugh out loud' film I have seen this year. Not necessarily the funniest in terms of wit and joke hit-rate but a film I could not help but laugh at.

The best thing about Borat is that it is incredibly clever and can be appreciated from many levels. There are the ignoramuses in the world who can laugh at the silly 'Johnny Foreigner' making an arse of himself in civilised society. There's a gross-out, Jackass element because you know this is just a man setting himself up for some - at times, downright dangerous - situations. Standing in the middle of a packed Texan stadium singing 'all other countries are run by little girls' to the tune of the American national anthem could be considered suicidal.

But above all that is the irony that Baron Cohen is using a parody figure to exploit others' intolerance and foolishness. In this case, it just happens to be a selection of Americans.

He also goes out of his way to ridicule himself - a naked fight left me disgusted, uncomfortable and desperate for breath from laughing so hard. For this scene along is the entire film worth seeing.

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