This was overheard on the radio this morning, featuring Radio Breakfast Host Christian O'Connell and well-known surreal comedian Bob Mortimer.
Transcript between Christian Oâ€™Connell and Bob Mortimer:
COC: if anything was to happen to you, which tv detective would you want to solve your murder?
BM: I would like to give that job to Columbo, why not?
COC: everyone has been saying Columbo this weekâ€¦
BM: well, heâ€™s the sweatiest isnâ€™t he?
COC: so Itâ€™d be columbo?
BM: Definitely, if you could arrange that, but donâ€™t arrange my murder just for the sake of thatâ€¦
COC: So if you were flattened by a truck..
BM: Yes, if I was flattened by a truck you probably wouldnâ€™t need an investigator, it would probably be apparent that the truck did it. Can I ask, am I actually live on air at the moment?
COC: if I say yes, youâ€™re not going to start swearing are you?
BM: Iâ€™ve never been on radio before live, this is extraordinary, can I say hello to anyone who knows me?
COC: Yeah, go on thenâ€¦
BM: Alright, hello everyone.
COC: what are you doing in town so early?
BM: Just finishing making a show called Titty Bang Bang, which is on the telly at the moment, and Iâ€™ve come in to an office block to do that, to whatâ€™s called an editing suite, and this man has followed me in and he appears to been causing a bit of distress in the security senseâ€¦ heâ€™s like a stealth stalky type character cos he was suddenly in the building with meâ€¦
COC: Any dead certs in the racing this weekend?
BM: I have no idea whoâ€™s running this weekend, but I would say always choose the biggest horse with the highest tail, thatâ€™s got to be a good tip hasnâ€™t it?
COC: ok, weâ€™ll look for the biggest horse
BM: Oh really bigâ€¦ if thereâ€™s a shire horse running, put your money on it.
So there you have it. Just goes to show that just because you're a well-known TV comedian, it doesn't stop you spouting the same nonsense as soon as you realise you're live on the Radio.