Bob Mortimer on Virgin Radio

Posted in Real Life on January, 27 2006 7:35 PM

Bob Mortimer

This was overheard on the radio this morning, featuring Radio Breakfast Host Christian O'Connell and well-known surreal comedian Bob Mortimer.

Transcript between Christian O’Connell and Bob Mortimer:

COC: if anything was to happen to you, which tv detective would you want to solve your murder?
BM: I would like to give that job to Columbo, why not?
COC: everyone has been saying Columbo this week…
BM: well, he’s the sweatiest isn’t he?
COC: so It’d be columbo?
BM: Definitely, if you could arrange that, but don’t arrange my murder just for the sake of that…
COC: So if you were flattened by a truck..
BM: Yes, if I was flattened by a truck you probably wouldn’t need an investigator, it would probably be apparent that the truck did it. Can I ask, am I actually live on air at the moment?
COC: if I say yes, you’re not going to start swearing are you?
BM: I’ve never been on radio before live, this is extraordinary, can I say hello to anyone who knows me?
COC: Yeah, go on then…
BM: Alright, hello everyone.
COC: what are you doing in town so early?
BM: Just finishing making a show called Titty Bang Bang, which is on the telly at the moment, and I’ve come in to an office block to do that, to what’s called an editing suite, and this man has followed me in and he appears to been causing a bit of distress in the security sense… he’s like a stealth stalky type character cos he was suddenly in the building with me…
COC: Any dead certs in the racing this weekend?
BM: I have no idea who’s running this weekend, but I would say always choose the biggest horse with the highest tail, that’s got to be a good tip hasn’t it?
COC: ok, we’ll look for the biggest horse
BM: Oh really big… if there’s a shire horse running, put your money on it.

So there you have it. Just goes to show that just because you're a well-known TV comedian, it doesn't stop you spouting the same nonsense as soon as you realise you're live on the Radio.

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