Whereas, on an occasion immediately preceding the Nativity
festival,throughout a dwelling unit, quiet descended, in which could be heard no
disturbance, not even the sound emitted by a diminutive rodent related to, and
in form resembling, a rat; and
Whereas, the offspring of the occupants
had affixed their tubular, closely knit coverings for the nether limbs to the
flue of the fireplace in expectation that a personage known as St.Nicholas would
arrive; and
Whereas, said offspring had become somnolent, and were
entertaining re: saccharine-flavored fruit; and
Whereas, the adult male
of the family, et ux, attired in proper headgear, had also become quiescent in
anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and
Whereas, a distraction on the
snowy acreage outside aroused the owner to investigate; and
Whereas, he
perceived in a most unbelieving manner a vehicle propelled by eight domesticated
quadrupeds of a species found in arctic regions; and
Whereas, a most odd
rotund gentleman was entreating the aforesaid animals by their appellations, as
follows:
"Your immediate co-operation is requested. Dasher, Dancer,
Prancer, and Vixen; and collective action by you will be much appreciated,
Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen"; and
Whereas, subsequent to the above,
there occurred a swift descent to the hearth by the aforementioned gentleman,
where he proceeded to deposit gratuities in the aforementioned tubular
coverings.
Now,
therefore, be ye advised: that upon completion of these acts, and upon his
return to his original point of departure, he proclaimed a felicitation of the
type prevalent and suitable to these occasions.
