The following are allegedly genuine incorrect transcriptions of song lyrics taken from various publications (on the web, in books, etc)

It's a hard egg -- Bonnie Tyler,
It's A Heartache

Sweet dreams are made of cheese -- The Eurythmics,
Sweet dreams are made of this

Wake up I might sit on you -- George Harrison,
I've got my mind set on you

We are the Mormons -- Asia,
Heat of the moment

Sherry don't like it/Rock the catbox -- from The Clash's "Rock the Casbah" is really
Sharif don't like it/Rock the casbah

Mice aroma -- The Knack,
My Sharona

Take your pants down and make it happen -- Irene Cara's "Flashdance", of course it's really
Take your passion and make it happen

Gotta leave it all behind and take a cruise -- from Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" is really
gotta leave....and face the truth

Baking carrot biscuits -- Bachman-Turner Overdrive,
Taking care of business

I am a rock, I am an onion -- Simon and Garfunkel, of course,
I am a rock, I am an island

Only the lonely get laid -- the Motels,
Only the lonely can play (where are these people's brains?)

We are ancient Sophocles from REM's "Orange Crush" is really
We are agents of the free.

Weenie skin, you and me from REM's "Cuyahoga", is really
We knee-skinned, you and me

Tell me a jawbreaker,
Only in Jamaica,
Calmly celebrate her from REM's "Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite", is really
Call me when you try to wake her

Whoa! Nipsey Russell! from B-52s,
Roam if you want to

These are the good times/Are you straight or bi? from Chic,
These are the good times/Our new state of mind

Olives have feelings -- from the Go-go's
Our lips are sealed

Last night I dreamt of some bagels -- from Madonna's "La Isla Bonita", is really
Last night I dreamt of San Pedro

She ripped up her douche in the middle of the night
Wrapped up like a douche/Another boner in the night from Manfred Mann's Earth Band's "Blinded By the Light" is really
Revved up like deuce/Another runner in the night.