Here are some children's books that will NEVER be written:

10: You're Different and That's Not Good

9: The Boy Who Died After Eating All His Vegetables

8: The Childrens' Guide to Hitch-Hiking

7: Jane Was So Naughty That Her Mummy Stopped Loving Her

6: Curious Colin and the High-Voltage Electric Fence

5: Yummy Sweeties - A Guide to Strangers and Their Sweets

4: Things Which Rich People Have, and You Will Never Have

3: See the Cat Lying, See the Cat Flying

2: Whining, Kicking and Crying - 20 Easy Ways to Get What You Want

1: "Ploff!" said the Hamster and 100 Other Fun Microwave Games