1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width,
thus varying the quality of the play.
2. Pitches vary from the well-grassed
to the completely bald.
3. Remember it is possible to score at both
ends.
4. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with
ground owner.
5. Be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be
of Premiership standard but in reality would not even be eligible as a council
dumping ground.
6. Only some grounds offer five-a-side facilities.
7. Don't ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never
mention pitches previously visited.
8. Extra time is dependent on
subsequent pitch bookings.
9. If the ground does not seem to have
under-soil heating suggest calling the game off, possibly even contact coroner.
10. When building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the
back.
11. Wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles.
12. Always
ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel. Conversely, DO NOT expect
to be allowed to come straight from the tunnel to the goal mouth and score. That
can leave an awful taste in the mouth of the pitch owner and may prevent further
use of the ground.
13. Personal morals may be compromised by local
derbies.
14. It is illegal to play on small, unturfed pitches.
15. From time-to-time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbent
goalie.
16. Russian grounds are frequently more grassy.
17.
French grounds are frequently very nice to look at, however there can sometimes
be an awful smell from the terraces which don't get hosed down as often as they
should.
18. Very few grounds are found with executive boxes.
19.
Be wary of grounds with room for coaches.
20. Always be on the look out
for grounds that host ladies football two evenings a week.
21. Pitches
with a waterlogged end, can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a month, although
this can be longer if you piss the owner off by continually asking to play up
the good end instead.
22. Players will have to agree personal terms with
the club, before being allowed to play on the turf.
23. Always look for a ground that
has never been played on before (or at least hasn't had many visits). That said,
well used grounds may have better facilities and will really know how to get the
best out of a player.
