A Restaurant Review
Courtesy of www.TheSpoof.com
Standing impressively in a car park on a modern retail park, The Snack Attack
Eat n' Go had our mouths watering the moment we arrived. The menu - although not
extensive - was adequate enough to suit the tastes of even the most picky
eaters.
Caravan
The eatery, which owner Mavis Ramsbotham
told us had just had an extensive refit, now boasts an outdoor seating area for
eight diners. "First we re-painted the caravan," explained Mavis, "and then we
bought some plastic furniture. Of course, you can still stand up and lean on the
counter if you prefer."
Parasols
We chose to be seated.
The tables were clean with brightly coloured parasols providing customers with
ample shade. Also provided was a good selection of condiments with the minimum
of gunge clinging to the rims and lids of the sauce bottles.
Radio
Two
The strains of Radio Two played softly in the background as we
browsed the menu. For starters, my wife and I both opted for the spicy tomato
mug-o-soup which was peppery hot and was brought promptly to our table by
Mavis's son, Albert. The soup was fine, but the croutons could have been a
trifle crunchier. All in all, though, we both agreed that it had been a wise
choice.
Chelsea 2..
When it came to ordering our main
courses, for me it was a toss-up between the bacon and tomato on French, or the
sausage and egg on brown.
After pondering for a few moments I chose the
former. I was not disappointed.
Fulham 0
After a lot of
oohing and aahing, my wife finally gave in to the lure of the quarter-pound
burger with cheese, with an extremely generous portion of chips for
accompaniment served in a white polystyrene tray. We decided to share them.
Said
My bacon was cooked to perfection and the real tinned
tomatoes were sweet and delicious. Smothered in thick, wholesome brown sauce, it
went down a treat. It has to be said, though, that the bread was slightly over
chewy. However, this was only a slight blip on an otherwise perfect
sandwich.
Griddled
My wife's burger was, she remarked:
'griddled perfectly', and the cheese slice more than adequate. The chips were
freshly cooked and unpretentious. Superb, we both agreed.
Legs
For drinks, I ordered tea which arrived piping hot in
an un-chipped mug. In all honesty, it was slightly (and I mean only ever so
slightly) overbrewed. This apart, it would have been a champion
brew.
Bums
My wife opted for a carton of fruit juice with a
little red straw taped to the side. It was slightly tepid but 'full of natural
fruit flavour', she told me.
Tits
For dessert, I couldn't
resist a Penguin biscuit; it was as good as any I'd eaten anywhere, and my wife,
this being her birthday, went to town and ordered a whopping thick slice of
fruit flapjack. She described it as 'orgasmic'.
Stella
Artois
The whole experience cost us just £7.22 pence. Extremely good
value, we both agreed.
Feeling Full
We drove away from the
eatery feeling full and content and promising ourselves that we would return for
our wedding anniversary in two month's time.
Short
Paragraph
It can't come quick enough. Lovely stuff.
Food
****
Service ***
Value *****
By Phrank Phraser
(ms014a4710@blueyonder.co.uk)
For more funny articles, and spoof news visit http://www.TheSpoof.com
