2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the  spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel  universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you  say
     will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how  popular it remains?

13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into  jet engines.

18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second  mouse gets the cheese.

19. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

20. For every action there is an equal and opposite  criticism.

21. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

22. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll  have to catch up.

23. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my  hand...