TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a
bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and
retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to
your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy new president of the United States, leaving you with nine
cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World
Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad, and possibly
dead.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are. You
break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five
cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship
them.
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