KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.

PLATO:
For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant
market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to
align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall
strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a
diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a
two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each
other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a
park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core
values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration
solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more
successful.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black
man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shall
cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M.NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the
road.

MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
chequebook as well.

OLIVER STONE:
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who
was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a
way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken,
depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

CLINTON:
I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with the chicken.