Someone apparently went through the trouble of taping all the
Simpsons,
watching them all and writing down what Bart is writing on the
board.
These are the collective writings of the Simpsons from the chalkboard
exercises
that Bart writes:
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the
head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of
the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not
conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap
bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and
pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I
will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not
teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an
answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat
things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The
principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud
head."
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No
one is interested in my underpants.
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will
return the seeing-eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not
charge admission to the bathroom.
I will never win an emmy.
The cafeteria
deep fat fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
I
will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I am not authorized to fire
substitue teachers.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
I will
not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I am not deliciously saucy.
Organ
transplants are best left to professionals.
The Pledge of Allegiance does not
end with "Hail Satan!"
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
There
are plenty of businesses like show business.
Five days is not too long to
wait for a gun.
I will not waste chalk.
I will not skateboard in the
halls.
In will not instigate a revolution.
I will not draw naked ladies in
class.
I did not see Elvis.
I will not call my teacher, "Hot
Cakes."
Garlic gum is not funny.
They are laughing at me, not with
me.
I will not yell, "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
I will not encourage
others to fly.
I will not fake my way through life.
Tar is not a
plaything.
I will not Xerox my butt.
It's potato, not potatoe.
I will
not trade pants with others.
I am not a 32 year old woman.
I will not do
that thing with my tongue.
I will not drive the principal's car.
I will
not pledge allegiance to Bart.
I will not sell school property.
I will not
burp in class.
I will not cut corners.
I will not get very far with this
attitude.
I will not belch the National Anthem.
I will not sell land in
Florida.
I will not grease the monkey bars.
I will not hide behind the
Fifth Amendment.
I will not do anything bad ever again.
I will not show
off.
I will not sleep through my education.
I am not a
dentist.
Spitwads are not free speech.
Nobody likes sunburn
slappers.
High explosives and school don't mix.
I will not bribe Principal
Skinner.
I will not squeak chalk.
I will finish what I started
"Bart
Bucks" are not legal tender.
Underwear should be worn on the inside.
The
Christmas Pageant does not stink.
I will not torment the emotionally
frail.