A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE, HIT IN THE EARLY HOURS OF Friday 3RD January 2003 EPICENTERED ON SWANSEA SOUTH
WALES.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering : "How be?",
"Tidy" and "Can't fault it But...".
The Earthquake decimated the area,
causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of
mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costas were damaged. Three areas of
historic and scientifically significant burnt out cars were
disturbed.
Many were woken well before their giro arrived. Thousands are
confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting has happened in Swansea.
One resident,
Sara-Angharrod Davies, a 15 year old mother-of-five said "It was such a
shock, little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My
youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it. I was still
shaking when I was watching Killroy Silk the next morning."
Apparently
though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.
The
British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to
the area to help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still searching
through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings
including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone
china from Everythings a Pound.
HOW YOU CAN HELP This appeal is to
raise clothing and food parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up
in it.
Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: - Fila
Baseball Caps, Kappa Tracksuit tops (His and Hers), Shell Suits (Female),
White Sports Socks, Nike Air Basketball Boots and any other items usually
sold in TK Maxx.
Food parcels may be harder to put together but necessary
all the same.
Required foodstuffs include: - Microwave meals, Tins of
Baked Beans, Ice Cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. £2 buys chips,
scraps and blue pop for a family of four. £10 can take a family to Port
Talbot for the day, where children can play on a radio active beach infront
of the national collection of Steel works. £1.68 pays for a return bus ticket
to the country side where they can pick magic mushrooms to feed the
family. 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.
Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of "posh" housing is
unfair on the population of neighbouring areas of Gorseinon, Llanelli and
Clydach.
