Memo From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management
Consultants To: Chairman, The London Symphony Orchestra Re:
Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B minor.
After attending a rehearsal of this work we make the following observations
and recommendations:
We note that the twelve first violins were playing
identical notes, as were the second violins. Three violins in each section,
suitably amplified, would seem to us to be adequate.
Much unnecessary labour is involved in the number of
demisemiquavers in this work; we suggest that many of these could be rounded
up to the nearest semiquaver thus saving practice time for the individual
player and rehearsal time for the entire ensemble. The simplification would
also permit more use of trainee and less-skilled players with only marginal
loss of precision.
We could find no productivity value in string
passages being repeated by the horns; all tutti repeats could also be
eliminated without any reduction of efficiency.
In so labour-intensive an undertaking as a symphony,
we regard the long oboe tacet passages to be extremely wasteful. What notes
this instrument is called upon to play could, subject to a satisfactory
demarcation conference with the Musician's Union, be shared out equitably
amongst the other instruments.
Conclusion: if the above recommendations are
implemented the piece under consideration could be played through in less than
ten minutes with concomitant savings in overtime, lighting and heating, wear and
tear on the instruments and hall rental fees. Also, had the composer been aware
of modern cost-effective procedures he might well have finished this work.
