In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are
trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.
If you feel that
you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager.
You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers
are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can
handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in
Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training
(E.A.T S.H.I.T).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were
promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of
S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a
job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture
List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the
S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming
(D.I.P S.H.I.T)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our
Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)
