Sort these articles by: Title (Alphabetically) | Date (latest first) | Rating (highest first) "Hooked On A Feeling" Video 27 February, 2006 Good old David Hasselhoff. Here he is in all his glory, performing "Hooked On A Feeling" (aka the Ooga Chaka song). If anyone can tell me what it's all abou... ...Is Like Making Love to a Beautiful Woman 10 November, 2003 MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot, you've got to take your time, you've got to stir...ge... A Cry from the Heart of an IT Helpdesk 19 October, 2003 When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bow... A Day in the Life of a Graduate Student 28 January, 2004 6:30am Wake up and lie awake in bed. 6:31 Realise you spent £12 on last night's dinner, means no eating for the next 6 weeks. 6:... Are You Sad? 7 February, 2004 A Survey To Discover how sad you are: Each question requires a "yes" or a "no" answer. Do not quibble about interpretation. Make up your own mind as to wh... ASCII Breasts 17 December, 2003 We know it's immature, but we will have some slightly more high-brow comedy tomorrow, we promise. --- Guide to Breasts (Through the medium of ASCII text):... Austin Powers Chat Up Lines 29 December, 2003 1)      I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long. 2)      (Lick finger and wipe on her s... Bart Simpson's Blackboard Writings 6 November, 2003 Someone apparently went through the trouble of taping all the Simpsons,watching them all and writing down what Bart is writing on the board. These are th... Bedroom Golf 22 May, 2004 The Rules: Each player shall furnish his own equipment, normally one club and two balls. Playing on a course must be approved by the owner of... California Driving Licence Exam 28 June, 2004 For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study re... Capitalism with Cows - Part 2 16 May, 2004 Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.... Chavs 9 October, 2004 1.What do you call a Chav in a box?Innit.2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?Sorted.3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?Safe.... Crazy Mouse 27 February, 2006 Take a look at this video for sheer, laugh out loud, guaranteed silliness. It features a mouse, on a wheel, going really fast...until the ineveitable conclu... Cybersex - What you Don't See 29 November, 2003 Below is a transcript from a possibly true but definately funny 'Cybersex' conversation in a chat room..... ---- Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you ... Dear Cats... 26 December, 2003 An open letter to all cats (or at least those that have internet access)...   Dear Cats, We need to talk. When I say to move, it means go someplac... DIY Country & Western Song Kit 1 February, 2004 I met her __________  _____;  I can still recall _________               &n... Earthquake Hits Wales 29 February, 2004 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE, HIT IN THE EARLYHOURS OF Friday 3RD January 2003 EPICENTERED ON SWANSEA SOUTH WALES.Victims can be seen... Employee Training 17 May, 2004 Employee Training Memo: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employe... Floppy Disk Care 2 November, 2003 By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak ou... For Those Who Take Life too Seriously 15 October, 2003 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost... GCSE Exam - Sexism Studies 2 November, 2003 TIME ALLOWED 3 HRS. ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS.   Section A (50 points) 1. Explain why the best women's cricket team in the world wouldn't standa chance a... General Motors v Microsoft 18 October, 2003 At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the Computer industry with the auto industry and stated:  "If GM had kept up with ... Govermentium 5 August, 2003 New Element Discovered A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new elemen... Harry Potter Sequels that May not get Made 19 November, 2003 Harry Potter and the Urinal of Wisdom Harry Potter and the Joyride of Power Harry Potter and the Carnivorous Pony There's Something About Harry Harry P... Hazardous Materials - Women 18 July, 2004 HAZARDOUS MATERIALS DATASHEET : WOMEN ANALYSIS  Element:  Woman  Discoverer: Adam  Atomic Mass:  Accepted as 55kg, but known ... How Not to be Eaten by a Duck 18 January, 2004 Avoid smearing yourself in stale breadcrumbs unless absolutely necessary. If threatened by a duck, climb a tree. Ducks, usually excellent climbers, ... How to Shower Like a Woman 8 January, 2004 The differences between Man and Women showering... How To Shower Like A Woman...* Take off clothing and place it in sectional laundry hamper according to l... How To Thoroughly Clean The Toilet... And The Cat 12 October, 2003 1. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and put both lids up. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroo... Human Stupidity 10 August, 2003 Questions of human stupidity: ...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? ...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? .... I Like Monkeys 14 June, 2004 The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift ho... If Airlines were Computers 27 January, 2004 MS-DOS Airline Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it crashes again, then they push again jump ... If Computer Operating Systems Were Beers 22 May, 2004 DOS Beer Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-o... Improving Orchestral Efficiency 17 April, 2004 Memo From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraRe: Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B minor. After... Instructions for Giving your Cat a Pill 11 October, 2003 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gentl... Interesting Facts 23 November, 2003 If you yelled for 8 years,7 months and 6 days you would haveproduced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it) If yo... Interview with the Easter Bunny 5 April, 2004 With the possible exception of Santa Claus himself, there is not a busier mammal on the face of the earth than the Easter Bunny. Once a year, the Easter B... Jet Fighter Warranty Card 30 December, 2003 Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warrant... Learn Chinese in 5 minutes 17 May, 2004 Learn Chinese in 5 minutes... (read them out loud) 1) That's not right ......... Sum Ting Wong 2) Are you harboring a fugitive?..... Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) ... Learn Korean in 5 Minutes 24 October, 2003 Learn Korean in 5 Minutes (Must Read Out Loud) 1)  That's not right              ... Lord of the Rings - The Secret Diaries 8 July, 2004 Lord Of The Rings - Secret Diaries - The bits you didn't hear about!!THE SECRET DIARY OF ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN Part 1Day One:Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. goo... Lunch, The HP/Compaq Way 1 August, 2003 Lunch, the HP Way  By Stephen Harrison and Noel Magee  This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU's, no screaming disc drives, just... Office Pranks 14 June, 2004 When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will t... Physics Product Warnings 27 October, 2003 WARNING: This product warps space and time in its vicinity. WARNING: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the prod... Points to Ponder 27 December, 2003 Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person... Rap Lyrics Translated 10 August, 2004 Lyrics: First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get natha... Sex Workers Quality Control Form 3 March, 2005 In this increasingly bureaucratic world in which we live in, we are all subject to more and more check-ups, quality control sessions, feedback meetings an... Spelling Isn't Improtant 28 March, 2004 Aoccdrnig to rsheerach at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ... Standardising the Language 15 October, 2003 Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study to look at ways of improving effi... Star Trek meets Road Runner 22 February, 2004   Captain's Log, Stardate 54324.5:  Starfleet Command has directed theEnterprise to do a preliminary exploration of planet --- in advance of afull... Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious - As sung by Treebeard 9 May, 2003 Originally created by Mark, with some additional work by Ghost. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!(As sung by Treebeard with a chorus of Ents) Ents: Haro... Support Calls to the Etch-a-Sketch Helpdesk 17 April, 2004 Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?A: Pick it up ... Technologically Challenged 11 October, 2003 Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet." This is an excerpt from a "Wall Street Journal" ... The "Managed Friendship" Service Provider 27 April, 2004 Introduction Welcome to Managed Caring®, a whole new way of thinking about friendship. The Managed Caring Plan® combines all the advantages of a "tradition... The Corporations 15 October, 2003 TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income. ... The Drinkers Troubleshooting Guide 20 September, 2003 SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear.FAULT: Glass empty.ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another ... The Feline Diet 19 November, 2003 The easiest way for any human to lose weight is to follow the simple 'Cat Diet' plan: DAY ONE Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet food. Any flavor a... The Mental Hospital Switchboard 30 December, 2003 Please press hash now to continue, whether it appears on your keypad or not.  If you do not have a touch-tone phone, go out and buy one you freak, it... The Movie Laws of Computers 9 May, 2004 The following laws are strictly adhered to whenever a computer is featured in a movie: Word processors never display a cursor. You never have to use th... The Perfect Toilet Experience 15 May, 2004 The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting ... The Rules of Monster Movies 30 October, 2006 Here are some things I've learned from Godzilla, Gamera, Star Wars, etc. -Any animal which isn't a human will grow 50 times its size when exposed to some s... The Wisdom of Homer Simpson 20 February, 2004 All you need to know to get through life, as advised by Homer Simpson: "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, andkids with fake IDs.""M... Things to Remember During the Working Day 1 November, 2003 1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did itby killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you i... Things you would like to say at work 30 September, 2003 1. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. This is good! 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to... Three Little Pigs (P.C. Version) 9 January, 2004 Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to the area ... Translation of Womens Language 15 October, 2003 The following Womens words and phrases have been translated into English for your convenience.Woman:  Yes       &n... Travel Tips for Americans: France 8 March, 2004 Travel tips for US citizens visiting France The following advisory for American travelers heading for France was compiled from information provided by th... Ultimate Showdown 3 March, 2006 An animation so good it's going on my all time list, The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny demands to be watched! Now! Or Chuck Norris will come and kic... Urinal Etiquette Test 9 December, 2003 The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use."  (Sample):   | _ | _ |... Why the Chicken Crossed the Road 1 November, 2003 KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:To get to the other side. PLATO:For the greater good. ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX:It was a histor... You Think Your Day was Bad? 25 November, 2003 * The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the ExxonValdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,two of the most expensively saved...